I miss you. I miss my best girlfriend. The one who used to make wedding scrapbooks with me, the girl who shared my shoe addiction, the excellent cook, my Vegas buddy.
I miss my favorite person.
But I'm also mad at you, and heartbroken. Mad that you didn't stand up for me and heartbroken that I wasn't the worth the risk. Mad that you let them treat me that way, and heartbroken that you wouldn't help me.
I thought I was worth it to you, but I guess I was wrong. It still hurts that you didn't have the guts, that you were too afraid of what they would think, that I was too much of a risk.
I miss how it used to be.
I hope you miss it, what we used to have. I thought our friendship meant something to you. It did to me.
I would have stood up for you. I wouldn't let anybody treat you like that, no matte what. But I guess that's just me.
So now I guess I just hope you're happy with your choice, happy with them, because I wasn't worth it.
You shatter my heart love. I just hope it was worth it...
Sincerely,
Girl with the Sunshine Smile
Monday, January 3, 2011
Tender Mercies
So just let me say that the last 4-6 months have been some of my hardest so far. I feel like I've been to hell and back almost. I seem to have lost all my friends and almost lost myself in the process. I've felt my fair share of fiery darts this last semester. The adversary was working overtime with me.
But through all of this I found a little comfort. :) My ward split a few years back and I was really sad to see all my friends and favorite leaders put into the other ward, but even with that I got the best deal. My new bishop turned out to be one of the best things that happened to me. Bishop Peterson has been a second father to me almost.
Even though I've been gone almost 2 years, he still takes the time to talk to me every time I come home and check up on me. I can feel the love of my Savior through him every time we speak.I love this man so much. He always helps me understand whatever trials I happen to go through and gives me the most insightful advice without me even asking.
Like I said, it's been really tough lately, but he just made me feel so loved. He told me to just what I needed to hear.
"You've been hit with some fiery darts lately. A lot of them. But now's the time to stand strong, to get in that defensive position. But don't lose that Keara we all know and love, the Keara that always smiles and radiates confidence and beauty. Don't lose her through your trials. Pray to your Father in Heaven, don't crunch numbers, just pray to be put into the situations you need to be in and things will work out. Next time I see you I want you to be a 12. Don't stop smiling girl" :)
I really love this man. I can't wait till I get to come to him with a huge smile and a boy on my arm that I want to spend the rest of eternity with and he loves him almost as much as I do. :)
But through all of this I found a little comfort. :) My ward split a few years back and I was really sad to see all my friends and favorite leaders put into the other ward, but even with that I got the best deal. My new bishop turned out to be one of the best things that happened to me. Bishop Peterson has been a second father to me almost.
Even though I've been gone almost 2 years, he still takes the time to talk to me every time I come home and check up on me. I can feel the love of my Savior through him every time we speak.I love this man so much. He always helps me understand whatever trials I happen to go through and gives me the most insightful advice without me even asking.
Like I said, it's been really tough lately, but he just made me feel so loved. He told me to just what I needed to hear.
"You've been hit with some fiery darts lately. A lot of them. But now's the time to stand strong, to get in that defensive position. But don't lose that Keara we all know and love, the Keara that always smiles and radiates confidence and beauty. Don't lose her through your trials. Pray to your Father in Heaven, don't crunch numbers, just pray to be put into the situations you need to be in and things will work out. Next time I see you I want you to be a 12. Don't stop smiling girl" :)
I really love this man. I can't wait till I get to come to him with a huge smile and a boy on my arm that I want to spend the rest of eternity with and he loves him almost as much as I do. :)
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Hello Twenty Eleven!
So it's that time of year again,
time for fire works, after Christmas sales, and....
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
*muah ha ha ha*
I know it's technically the second, but I was working today, so this will have to do.
Everybody always makes resolutions and forgets about them before Valentine's day, but I am determined. Not only am I making a list, but I'm also making a plan of action to begin implementing them into habits.
I decided on 11 in honor of 2010 so....
1. Journal/blog at least once a week.
-blogging could be considered journaling, so I resolve to post at least once a week, whether it be a full blown post or just a pic. I will post something every week. (so stay tuned)
2. Be more health conscious.
-this always makes the top ten of the resolution list, but everybody can always aim to be a little more healthy, so I resolve to do a few things:
-cut soda down to once a week or less
-eat at least one serving of fruits AND veggies EVERY day
-start exercising more by staying active every day and going to the gym at least once a week, stretch every day
3. Be less self centered and selfish
-put somebody before myself at least once a day
4. Be more positive
-make a conscious effort to smile
-always look on the bright side of everything
-work to make others happy
5.Build my relationship with Heavenly Father
-read scriptures every night
-say morning and evening prayers EVERY night!
6. Get more organized with my time and stuff
7. Widen my literary perspectives
-read more books of varying genres
8. Get more involved in church and school
-attend activities whenever possible
-volunteer for more responsibilities
9. Meet more people
-get more involved
-be more social
-don't be afraid to introduce myself
10. Continue to develop and discover my talents
11. Make 2011 another memorable year
Well I guess that's it for now, but I'll see you in a week!
time for fire works, after Christmas sales, and....
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
*muah ha ha ha*
I know it's technically the second, but I was working today, so this will have to do.
Everybody always makes resolutions and forgets about them before Valentine's day, but I am determined. Not only am I making a list, but I'm also making a plan of action to begin implementing them into habits.
I decided on 11 in honor of 2010 so....
1. Journal/blog at least once a week.
-blogging could be considered journaling, so I resolve to post at least once a week, whether it be a full blown post or just a pic. I will post something every week. (so stay tuned)
2. Be more health conscious.
-this always makes the top ten of the resolution list, but everybody can always aim to be a little more healthy, so I resolve to do a few things:
-cut soda down to once a week or less
-eat at least one serving of fruits AND veggies EVERY day
-start exercising more by staying active every day and going to the gym at least once a week, stretch every day
3. Be less self centered and selfish
-put somebody before myself at least once a day
4. Be more positive
-make a conscious effort to smile
-always look on the bright side of everything
-work to make others happy
5.Build my relationship with Heavenly Father
-read scriptures every night
-say morning and evening prayers EVERY night!
6. Get more organized with my time and stuff
7. Widen my literary perspectives
-read more books of varying genres
8. Get more involved in church and school
-attend activities whenever possible
-volunteer for more responsibilities
9. Meet more people
-get more involved
-be more social
-don't be afraid to introduce myself
10. Continue to develop and discover my talents
11. Make 2011 another memorable year
Well I guess that's it for now, but I'll see you in a week!
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